“It’s Never Too Early To Be Girlie!” -Girlie Glue; The Ridiculous New Craze & What I Have To Say About It.

Ever put a bow or head-wrap on your baby just to see it’s fallen off their slim little head or that they’ve ripped it off? Yeah. Same here. It’s typical. But never fear, a Brazilian company has come about to save the day! Recently releasing a new product in which you stick a bow on your babies haired or bare head WITH GLUE, with “girlie glue.” The real reason behind the invention? To help  identify the baby as a girl. Moms are sick of people mistaking their daughters for a boy because frankly without a bow most babies do look like little boys. No shame. I know mine does. Girlie Glue, the glue that lets you stick stuff right to your baby’s head! Guys this isn’t a drill. In fact this is dumb. But sadly this is real life. And surprise surprise we’ve got yet another debate regarding gender. Ugh. But…..waittttttttt…so this product has sparked a controversy about gender? Just about gender?? There’s an issue because the Brazilian company’s motto is “it’s never too early to be girlie.” #1 there shouldn’t be an issue revolving gender. (People need to get over themselves.) But the fact that these idiots are glueing something to their baby’s head(s) is completely skipped over. Oh Ok. I just wanted to make sure that’s what’s been going on here. I can’t deal with people anymore. It’s mind boggling to me that this is the world we live in. There are arguments that babies haven’t decided what gender they are yet so how dare their parents put a bow on a biological female infants head. OH MY GOSH. Get over yourselves people, really. Recently I watched a video where a “sexual expert” says parents need to ask their babies for their permission before changing them. What? So your baby…the one whom cannot speak… and doesn’t quite yet understand body language or know how to display it… but just knows they’re uncomfortable and in order to be comfortable is to cry to trigger a changing … but because they aren’t verbal in the fact of “yes mom and dad, please change me” I’m supposed to let my daughter sit in copious amounts of pee and poop, some expert that jerk is, they defineitly do not have kids. So what are we supposed to do with our kids who are born with penises? Not call them a boy? K. What about the ones born with a vagina? Yup you’re right… probably shouldn’t refer to them as girls because God forbid anyone gets offended. Sooooo should we just start painting out babies one solid “neutral” color? Or maybe use a Sharpie… since it’s more permanent? Like the glue with the bows. Make them wear all gray onesies with an “X” on it. Oh God I’m hoping I didn’t just spark an idea in some sick gender obsessive mind. People need to let stuff go. Look at things at face value instead of diving in head first and reading between the pages versus the lines. Putting aside the gender debate in this case… women will freak out about piercing their children’s ears pierced but they’ll glue something to their child’s head? That makes sense. Why not just stick a wad of gum in their hair, stick a bow on said wad of gum and call it a day? I’m just going to stick with the classic baby bows when it comes to my daughter thank you. No need to be so “extra” or weird and potentially harmful with Girlie Glue. I think this would be fun to buy for my cat…. but then at the same time why the hell would I glue anything to my cat. I wouldn’t. And I wouldn’t glue anything to my child either. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% sensitive to gender issues and transgender issues but this all has gone too far. I named my daughter Maxly and we call her Max. As she grows up and if she decides maybe she should have been born a boy then that’s fine. But she’ll still be Max. She won’t have to change her name. Whether Max is a she or a he Max will still be Max. Girlie Glue is not discriminating towards boys. It’s a simple product meant to make lives easier (even though I don’t approve of the product). Go ahead moms, glue those bows to your sons head. Let people think they’re girls along with the actual baby girls. I bet you $50 that when your son grows up he’ll give you more grief because you glued some shit to his head versus that you made people think he was a girl.

 

First Impression; Best Friends For Life Husband and Wife.

Cigarettes can kill but they can also help you meet the love of your life.

2011 into 2012 MGMT said it best, the band described my life in a nutshell. “I’m feelin’ rough I’m feelin’ raw I’m in the prime of my life.” I was 19, and had really bloomed into my own. I was about to study abroad in France, had a plan to move into my own place once I was home and the word shy was not in my vocabulary. It’s funny because the qualities that people love about me are sometimes the qualities in which people cannot stand about me. I was (and still am) loud, a chatterbox, and confident. And back then I had this bright firey ginger color hair that was literally the cherry on top for my unknowingly secret admirer close by. (And so did he!)

In two of my journalism classes sat behind me was a tall, lanky, cute yet very quiet guy.

I was a smoker, sorry mom! 

In February of 2012 I was standing outside of a building before class and lit up a smoke. Right across from me doing the same was the tall, lanky, cute yet quiet boy. This is my moment, the time to swoop in and make my move!

I puffed, “hey.”

He puffed, “hi.”

I exhaled, “I see we’re in some of the same classes.”

He exhaled, “yeah.”

I puffed, “I’m Morgan.”

He puffed, “I’m Nick.”

We ended up talking a bit more here and there throughout the next few weeks since we were due to go to France together. Ultimately we decided to stick along side one another because we were the only two smokers in the group that was due to leave the country. If you are, or were a smoker, you can understand how smoking bonds other smokers together. Weird I know but true. It wasn’t instant but it was love at second.

Cue the MGMT. No we didn’t shoot heroin but we fucked with the stars and drank a lot of Heineken and Magners. The Moulin Rogue, kissing atop the Eiffel Tower, holding hands walking through the parks, eating french cuisine among the many cafes whilst smoking and people watching were among the many activities that grew us closer together. Still to this day those are some of the most memorable times of my life. At the time, my 19 year old self swore to my friends he was my soulmate. I believed it. He was an amazing writer, attractive, we had the same likes when it came to music, and we played well off of each others sense of humor. Plain and simple we always had fun.

Unfortunately when we came home, sooner rather than later our fling was over. I was hurt but I moved forward. I still had big things on my horizon. Throughout the next three years we would see or talk to each other every nine months or so. (Foreshadowing? Maybe!) I truthfully never thought we’d ever spend more than a couple of hours with each other ever again, I would have bet my life on it. Well good thing I didn’t because I’d have been way way way wrong.

Fast forward to 2015 and we end up reconnecting while I was working as a manager for Pier 1 Imports. His mother had placed and order for director chair covers and his father came to pick them up. I had never met him but he was a spitting image of Nick, or I guess rather Nick was a spitting image of him. Making a long story short I told him I was Nicks friend from Paris and to tell him I say hi. He did, which was surprising because lets face it men suck at relaying messages. But Nick texted me the day after and invited me over for dinner. Needless to say I went on a whim, not expecting much. And we’ve been together every day since. It could be love or it could be that I showed up with a 30 rack of beer haha. I bet he’d say it was the booze.

Not even a year later we were engaged on top of a mountain. One of the most intense, colorful and adventurous days of my life. Pouring rain, 40 mph winds, 15 degree temperature… Nick looks at me and I shout over my senses being assaulted and say “isn’t this crazy??” He shouts back “Yeah, do you wanna know something else crazy?” So I shout back “what?” He pulls out this beautiful round rose gold Morganite stone engagement ring and says “will you marry me?” Tears. So many sobbing tears poured from my face. I said yes obviously but unlike a normal person that wasn’t my first response. My reaction was “are you serious??” and then “does my mom know??” Both to which he said yes. I’m very untraditional in a lot of ways but I was so pleased and grateful he asked my parents permission. 

Wedding plans were in the midst but were put on hold because of reasons. But as our entire story to date has shown, everything happens for a reason. The same year we were set to get married was the same year we found out we were expecting our little baby blueberry. We were elated. So happy, so eager and so thrilled. We couldn’t wait to make our duo a trio, to become parents and raise a kick ass beach baby and animal lover. I was hoping for a daughter, he was hoping for a son but either way we clearly just wanted a healthy baby. Throughout my pregnancy Nick and I grew up fast. We went from partying every night to quitting smoking, we bought a home, we remodeled said home. It was all so scary and nerve-wracking but we did it all in six short months, despite my hormonal mood swings. I absolutely refused to not have everything prepared and safe for my baby’s arrival. We time crunched for sure.

Flash to December 18, 2017 and our beautiful daughter Maxly Coraline was born. Our family was finally a true family now, even though we already had two cats, a dog and a tortoise. But we were complete. We were the Matson Family. We hate the terms “baby momma” and “baby daddy” but we do use them from time to time as a joke, or even as a term of endearment. It makes us laugh, it keeps things light. I could never thank Nick enough for making me a mommy. I could never thank him enough for giving me the daughter I had always dreamt of. The love we have is unconditional. Even if we spat,  we are good and back to normal laughing within 10 minutes. Its just how we flow. We have to, life is too short and it takes too much energy to be unhappy with one another. It’s just not worth it to be angry, especially now that we are role models for our daughter. I have never met a person who has seen and experienced every nook of my life. He really has seen me at my highest and at my lowest point. And we’ve gone through our problems too – don’t get me wrong, but when I found out I was pregnant we worked so hard to be the best versions of ourselves so we could be the most supreme team for our daughter. And that’s where we’re at now.

“I’ve seen you with blonde hair, I’ve seen you with red hair, I’ve seen you with black hair, and now brown, and one day I’ll see you with gray.” Probably the most romantic thing he’s ever said to me. He is my partner. My partner in parenting, partner in drinking, partner in love, and partner in life.

I do love and live by the saying “happy wife happy life” but our motto has really become best friends for life husband and wife.

 

 

DIY Baby Attire

I have an artsy fartsy mind. I can write, I can take pictures. That’s about it when it comes to creative skills. I suck at measuring, I suck at cutting. I can’t paint. I don’t think I can sew. I can’t do pottery. I want to be artistic but God Bless me, I just cannot do it. Thanks Mom & Dad for unblessing this wannabe composer. Maybe I can’t but some of the beautiful people in my life are good with their minds and their hands. Thank god.

My mommy bestie Alysha is just that. I always see cute things on Etsy or Amazon or in stores, then I think to myself, “I can make that.” Then I think again and realize “I cannot make that.” Shit. But Alysha can. Yay! It’s amazing. One of the many reasons I love her.

Most recently she was scrolling through Etsy and saw the cutest best friend onesies . She knew our girls had to have them. But as a stay-at-home mom, $28 +shipping is a price that’s just too high to pay. So for $9 she replicated the outfits for our dolls and I’m in love.

Left: Stevie Rae (Alysha’s princess); Right: Maxly (my princess)