“It’s Never Too Early To Be Girlie!” -Girlie Glue; The Ridiculous New Craze & What I Have To Say About It.

Ever put a bow or head-wrap on your baby just to see it’s fallen off their slim little head or that they’ve ripped it off? Yeah. Same here. It’s typical. But never fear, a Brazilian company has come about to save the day! Recently releasing a new product in which you stick a bow on your babies haired or bare head WITH GLUE, with “girlie glue.” The real reason behind the invention? To help  identify the baby as a girl. Moms are sick of people mistaking their daughters for a boy because frankly without a bow most babies do look like little boys. No shame. I know mine does. Girlie Glue, the glue that lets you stick stuff right to your baby’s head! Guys this isn’t a drill. In fact this is dumb. But sadly this is real life. And surprise surprise we’ve got yet another debate regarding gender. Ugh. But…..waittttttttt…so this product has sparked a controversy about gender? Just about gender?? There’s an issue because the Brazilian company’s motto is “it’s never too early to be girlie.” #1 there shouldn’t be an issue revolving gender. (People need to get over themselves.) But the fact that these idiots are glueing something to their baby’s head(s) is completely skipped over. Oh Ok. I just wanted to make sure that’s what’s been going on here. I can’t deal with people anymore. It’s mind boggling to me that this is the world we live in. There are arguments that babies haven’t decided what gender they are yet so how dare their parents put a bow on a biological female infants head. OH MY GOSH. Get over yourselves people, really. Recently I watched a video where a “sexual expert” says parents need to ask their babies for their permission before changing them. What? So your baby…the one whom cannot speak… and doesn’t quite yet understand body language or know how to display it… but just knows they’re uncomfortable and in order to be comfortable is to cry to trigger a changing … but because they aren’t verbal in the fact of “yes mom and dad, please change me” I’m supposed to let my daughter sit in copious amounts of pee and poop, some expert that jerk is, they defineitly do not have kids. So what are we supposed to do with our kids who are born with penises? Not call them a boy? K. What about the ones born with a vagina? Yup you’re right… probably shouldn’t refer to them as girls because God forbid anyone gets offended. Sooooo should we just start painting out babies one solid “neutral” color? Or maybe use a Sharpie… since it’s more permanent? Like the glue with the bows. Make them wear all gray onesies with an “X” on it. Oh God I’m hoping I didn’t just spark an idea in some sick gender obsessive mind. People need to let stuff go. Look at things at face value instead of diving in head first and reading between the pages versus the lines. Putting aside the gender debate in this case… women will freak out about piercing their children’s ears pierced but they’ll glue something to their child’s head? That makes sense. Why not just stick a wad of gum in their hair, stick a bow on said wad of gum and call it a day? I’m just going to stick with the classic baby bows when it comes to my daughter thank you. No need to be so “extra” or weird and potentially harmful with Girlie Glue. I think this would be fun to buy for my cat…. but then at the same time why the hell would I glue anything to my cat. I wouldn’t. And I wouldn’t glue anything to my child either. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% sensitive to gender issues and transgender issues but this all has gone too far. I named my daughter Maxly and we call her Max. As she grows up and if she decides maybe she should have been born a boy then that’s fine. But she’ll still be Max. She won’t have to change her name. Whether Max is a she or a he Max will still be Max. Girlie Glue is not discriminating towards boys. It’s a simple product meant to make lives easier (even though I don’t approve of the product). Go ahead moms, glue those bows to your sons head. Let people think they’re girls along with the actual baby girls. I bet you $50 that when your son grows up he’ll give you more grief because you glued some shit to his head versus that you made people think he was a girl.

 

How I Named My Baby; Things To Consider When Naming Your Child.

Maxly Coraline Matson established 12.18.17. My best creation to date.

I dreamt my entire life of having a daughter. I was elated when I (accidentally) found out her gender. I was happy to narrow down between the two sexes to make it easier on myself to 100% decided on a name before her arrival! To be honest I’ve always had so many female names in my mind for my future baby but none for a male. Oops. I’ve always considered a gender neutral name though, I am what some call an “overachiever” … is it really so wrong to what to have things prepared ahead of time? Nah. I don’t think so. Anyways even if I had chose a gender neutral name I’d still be fretting over the baby’s middle name. So since I knew my baby was a girl, I decided I wanted a feminine versus a gender neutral name, so my first step was done! Now onto the next one.

Trendy name versus traditional name. Maybe trendy isn’t the right word but rather more on the uncommon or unique side. This was my second step in the process of deciding on my daughters name. I ended up going with a rare name, but not too weird of a name that she’d be embarrassed to go to a Starbucks. Who wants their name written and incorrectly spelled on their cup. Not me. And probably not Maxly.

Third I had to decide out of the 26 letters of the alphabet which would be the first letter of my baby’s name. Others may have a thought process on how they pick a letter of the first name, but I knew what I wanted straight away. I picked “M.” Mostly because my name is Morgan and I wanted her to have an “M” too. Her last name is Matson and I thought it’d flow cutely, M&M, no matter what her first name was going to be.

After being pregnant for almost an entirety of nine months, I finally decided on my baby girls name  – Maxly, and we call her just that or Max. I’ve always loved the name Max but have always hated the female versions for it. For instance, Maxine. It’s on ok name but not for a little girl born in this decade! I just think of an 85 year old woman and I wasn’t intending on birthing one of those. As I mentioned earlier, I wanted something rare, fresh and new. One night when I was laying there counting baby names instead of sheep, “Maxly” popped into my head. YES! THAT WAS IT! Hit all my checklist boxes… feminine, trendy and starting with the letter M. And I don’t mean to pat myself on the back but I love that her name is so universal. So if my daughter feels at some point in her life that she was born the wrong sex and wants to identify as a male, she won’t have to change her name. She will still be Max(ly) Matson.

Ok so first name was first, and then the middle name came second. I just had a gut instinct, Coraline. Yes you guessed it, Coraline after Neil Gaiman’s beloved character. So there I had it. Maxly Coraline. Maxly Coraline Matson. MCM. That was okay right? I hear MCM and I just think the internets craze of Man Crush Monday – I can associate her initials with that. At least her initials wouldn’t read A.S.S. or something else brutal. Maxly Coraline Matson it was!

In between these factors of name narrowing, there was definitely more things to consider. One of which potentially cruel nicknames people may or may not associate with your child’s name..or considering how popular the name is that year. This past year alone I had three friends name their new babies Ava. Don’t get me wrong I love the name, its beautiful but that kids going to get to kindergarten and there will be six Ava’s in her class. Or every time you thought you had the perfect name you were reminded of an old coworker or friend who had that same name and in the nicest way put… you hated them. You really never realize how many people you dislike until you have to name a baby. In the end though it is your child and don’t let anyone belittle you for what you want to name them, except your child. Try hard to put yourself in their shoes and be kind when choosing their name. They’ll have it their entire lives!