Let’s Talk About Sex Baby; Real Talk.

I thought I was afraid of having a baby. HA I was actually more afraid of fornication after baby. Sex after birth is like loosing your virginity all over again. You think I’m kidding? K.

“Will I get pregnant?”

“Is it going to hurt?”

“We have to keep the lights off.”

Sex may be the last thing on your mind but I assure you, as soon as you’re in the clear.. the sooner you get physical the better. It takes a minimum of six weeks… but physical (re)connection will make you and your significant other better as parents, I promise. You’ll both feel reunited. Supreme be this team, if you will. Reassembled. YES. Feeling disconnected could lead to resentment. You don’t want that. I didn’t want that. If you aren’t physical, don’t you think you might start feeling like roommates? Weird. You don’t want that. At least I don’t want that. So bring on the sex! Taboo subject or not. Bring it!

It’s possible your partner may have hidden fears.. maybe they think they’ll hurt you..maybe they think you aren’t ready.. maybe they’re thinking you feel insecure.. so don’t be afraid to make the first move. As gross as birth truly is,  I assure you… after they saw you bring that child into this world, and how you care for that said child, that you made together, they are just as attracted to you as you are to them after seeing them with your baby. Mhm. Seeing my fiance tending to our baby turned me on. NO LIE. No shame. Screw it. Literally. How does having a new baby change the way you feel about your partner? I can’t speak for everyone but seeing my fiance with our daughter? Shit. I have never been so attracted to him in our entire six years history. Dudes have needs too, but so do we. Act on it.

The first thing that women think about after baby is probably not sex. Maybe it’s not the first thing, but sex is surely a thought. It’s undeniable.

How do you find time for sex after baby? Well step one would be to not co-sleep with your youngin’. (PS I’m not shaming anyone for doing so but it just wasn’t my preference to do so.) I personally like spontaneous sex, it’s more intimate and overall sexy but if you are worried that it won’t happen but you want it to happen, set aside a time for sex. It’s not shameful or corny. Let people judge you. Make time for you and your partner, it’s just equally as important as your baby.

Set your own timeline…..

I personally waited till the six week mark that you’re advised to wait. But as soon as I was cleared.. even though “down there” still felt a little “different” doctor said I was healed and ready to be a sexual being again, woo!!! But I was afraid it’d be awkward.

Awkward sex? Eh, it’s only awkward if you make it awkward.

Hell if you play it right, it’s not awkward AT ALL. In fact it’s intimate as ever. MHMM.

I enjoy sex now more that I’m a mom. Maybe too much information but giving birth springs all of these new emotions and sensations from within. You know I’m right.

What’s the common saying? “Don’t forget your roots?” Don’t forget why you started? Or how rather. Sex is what most likely bonded your relationship. Sex is what created your baby. Sex is love. Sex is new. Sex is all. Sex is you. Sex is the origin and soul of your relationship. The bond of you and your partner. The author of your marriage. The producer of your offspring.

Passion. Keep it alive and it will keep your family alive.