Sticks & Bones May Break Their Bones, But Words Can Do The Same.

As a parent but especially as a mom I have a bunch of (probably mostly irrational) fears when it comes to my daughter. Hell she was in my womb for nine full months. I literally grew her from scratch. I want to protect that child from the bottom of her feet to the top of her little head. And all of that in between. Including her brain and most importantly her heart. I will do all that I can to make sure she’s not in harms way. And if she does find herself in harms way, I intend to raise her strong so she can deal with it in a healthy manner. What I’m fearing as a mom I know is normal… and what a good parent should be feeling. I worry about kidnapping, car accidents, chocking, their overall health, etc. What uneases me the most though is bullying. I am beyond terrified that my daughter will face bullying as I did. I wouldn’t wish that pain and defeat even on the kids who bullied me. So to imagine my daughter having the same thing happen to her. I want to cry. Ugh so many shivers go down my spine. I tear at just the thought of it. My baby is only four months old but as we know time flies and sooner than later my daughter will be in school and I’ll have to worry of the taunting from other children. Great. As we all know kids can be so cruel. SO CRUEL. How do we fix this? How do I prepare my daughter to potentially have to deal with this? I’ll tell you one thing… it all starts at home so that’s exactly what I’ll do. My dear sweet Maxly, I hope mommy teaches you to love yourself and love others. About confidence. I hope I prepare you well my darling girl.

My daughter has Abortive Hemangioma on the bottom of her hand throughout her arm where her forearm meets. Also known as a “strawberry.” I know she was born beautiful and I know this mark truly does make her more unique but sadly I also know because of this birthmark, it makes her more apt to be bullied. As I stated earlier, even though she is only four months old I talk to her about her strawberry everyday and will continue to do so everyday. The doctor says it’ll grow with her and she’ll eventually grow out of it but that could take five to ten years. Doesn’t really narrow it down for me there, thanks doc. Her father and I, and our other family members and close family friends will always let her know how beautiful it/she is and she will learn it embrace her mark and realize it truly is a beauty mark. Even putting this aside I still fear children will find other things to pick on her for. Its inevitable. Kids will find ANYTHING to jeer at others.

I was picked on throughout my days of childhood and teenage years but 5th grade and my senior year of high school were the absolute worst. I am just glad I had a strong and loving family behind me and was raised with love, self love, self confidence and forgiveness because if not I might have become another statistic.

I would define a bully as a person, no matter what age, who takes their anger, emotions and / or insecurities out on someone else, usually someone “weaker” than them. I don’t think people crying bully too often – but I could add in that the term itself can be black and white for sure, but each case of “bullying” should be treated with care and individually. I don’t think it’s fair for people to think one person is more or less of a victim than someone else because I was a victim too.

Bullying is a real crises. It’s not just a made up game that people like to “invent.” People think bullying is “crying wolf” and to me that’s mind boggling. I fear that bullying will only get worse as the years go on. It starts at home. Bullying is taught at home but so is dealing with a bully. Your parents are your first teachers. First it starts with having a good home. A loving home. A supportive home. You need to have a home of values, patience and understanding. Teach your child compassion and to treat all others with kindness. Build them up so they’ll too want to build up themselves others! Bullies are usually bullied themselves, or they were raised to think they don’t have to be held accountable for anything. I will not raise my daughter that way. You shouldn’t either.

You must love yourself and realize that you are important and you do matter; amazing and powerful words for your children to live by You and your life are worth it, and that is something you should never forget. The hurtful words by one are nothing compared to the positive shouts of many.

 

 

Seven TV Families with Seven Family Values That I Hope to Pass On; Iconic lessons taught by my favorite TV families.

Grounded For Life, the Finnerty family. Hot Mom, stuck in high school mode dad, teenage drama queen daughter, 2 hooligan sons, a whacky uncle, a goofball grandfather and a dorky neighbor set the tone for one of the most important lessons in life. Don’t take yourself too seriously. In order to get by in this life you have to be able to laugh at yourself! Using their wry sense of humor Sean, Claudia, Uncle Eddie and Grandpa Walt were always teaching Lily, Jimmy, Henry and even Brad that you have to take your responsibilities seriously but be sure to never take yourself too seriously. It’s ok to be dysfunctional sometimes, that’s life!

Gilmore Girls, the Gilmore family. From the first episode of the first season to the last episode of the last season the message that confident and successful Lorelai Gilmore has always exemplified for Rory was just be yourself. It may be a cliche but it is one of the best things you can do for yourself in life. It’s ok to be smart. It’s ok to be a bookworm. It’s ok to put your career first. It’s ok to kiss boys. It’s ok that your best friend is your mom. It’s ok if you change your life plan. It’s ok if you’re obsessed with coffee. It’s ok that you’re confused. It’s ok to know what you want. It’s ok to be yourself. It’s the greatest gift you can offer the world, just exactly who you are.

Malcolm in the Middle, the Wilkerson family. Two parents with a handful of sons, there is bound to be chaos. Especially when Francis, Reese, Malcolm and Dewey just don’t know when to quit it. There’s never a thought of a consequence to an action.. most of the time. But along the way, after Jamie, the fifth son was born Dewey had an epiphany. Be nice to your mom and she will be nice to you. Dewey realizes that if you do what you’re told, you don’t fight with your brothers, if you don’t destroy anything in the house, you don’t get punished. Reese punches him and demands to know why mom hasn’t been on his case… Dewey just simply says “I just haven’t done anything wrong in three days.” Duh!

Roseanne, the Conner family. This true television masterpiece covers so much of real life including what it’s like to have three bratty kids and how said brattiness should be handled. In Roseanne’s case her favorite was purr evil but genius. Your parents will embarrass you on purpose especially when they want to teach you a lesson. I will never forget the episode when Roseanne told DJ she was going to bring him to school, and walk him all the way to the front, as she takes off her robe and has on a flannel, overalls, blacked out teeth and pigtails. He was MORTIFIED and promised he would never do whatever the bad thing was again. In fact growing up, my mom used that one on me multiple times and some of a gun her blackmail always worked. Thanks Mrs. Conner.

The Addams Family, the Addams Family. The Addams family are known to be “creepy, kooky mysterious, spooky and all together ooky,” but under all of the “weirdness” they’re a pretty normal family, and a devoted family at that. Gomez and Morticia are a prime example of parents who certainly practice what they preach. Don’t be afraid to show affection. Physical and mental. They always 100% support their children and other family members and literally cannot keep their hands off of each other. It’s ok to spread the love!

Lizzie McGuire, the McGuire family. Lizzie McGuire was one of the best shows for teenage girls. Hilary Duff hit the nail on the head representing a teenager and what it felt like to be insecure about your body and other obstacles that may come your way. You must be comfortable in your own skin. The show honed in on some serious taboo issues like eating disorders, teenage bullying and lack of confidence. Although Lizzie had her bestie trifecta, her parents Mr. and Mrs. McGuire always managed to find out what was going on and reassured Lizzie she was beautiful inside and out.

Full House, the Tanner family. People always say you “can’t pick your family.” Wrong. Family doesn’t always have to be blood either. Among the many life lessons Full House taught us the most significant one was that all families are different, not every family is made up of just a mom and a dad and kids. In the Tanner Household you’ve got the dad, the Uncle, the dad’s best friend and the kids. It really does take a village to raise a child as they say.

Television whether we like it or not plays a huge role in our lives and sometimes unintentionally it’s where our children pick up a lot of their vocabulary, likes and dislikes. If my daughter can take from these shows what I have then I’d be quite alright.

*Images are not mine. Thank you Google.